Moving On. Moving Forward.

I have been talking to myself, telling myself to stop thinking about that person. I tell myself to stop thinking about him each time my mind decides to. I want to move on. I want to move forward. Though there is that part in me that makes me want to hold on and just hold on. But I know I should move forward. 

I have stopped messaging him. Well, it has only been a week. He was the one who first sent me a message. But that's it. There has been no additional messages after that. 

Sometimes, I catch myself checking if he's online. But I don't message him. But I will stop doing that. Or even stop thinking about doing that. 

And then there are times when I start thinking about what I would want to happen in the future. But I know that's not healthy as well.

So that is when I stop myself. I talk to myself and continuously remind myself of all the wrong that he has done and everything that he did which got me hurting. Sometimes, when I remind myself of all of those, I still feel hurt. 

I want to do away with all of these. I want to be able to forget about him, and not even think about him. I want to hear his name and his stories about him without feeling anything anymore. I want that. And I want that now. I know it is a slow and painful process but I cannot wait for that to happen. It'll be a loss on my end but it's a loss that I'm willing to take. I can love him but I know that that love would not be enough for him. So moving on and moving forward is definitely the best step to take.